MANA: What inspired you to write "A Widow's Sharing and Guide: Forever With Me" particularly while you were still experiencing grief over the loss of your husband?
Nora White Martin (NWM): After being approached by a number of widows who admired the way I appeared to be adjusting to my loss, I was asked, "How are you able to bounce back so smoothly?" I shared that even after losing my husband, I continued to keep in contact with family, church, friends, and groups. I was also honest and shared that in the quiet times, I would listen to music that allowed me to make a connection with Lee. My favorite song happened to be Yolanda Adams's “Forever with Me," the lyrics made me feel that I was speaking to him. This individual and small group discussions led to luncheon dates and informal meetings with widows. The major thrust of our conversations centered around two topics: "What do you miss most about him?" and "Would you consider remarriage or a new courtship?" I chose to include many of these responses toward the end of my book after my friends and family shared that Lee and I had a "love story for the ages" and my book should reflect our relationship—from courtship until his transition—as the basis for this memoir.
MANA: How did you navigate the emotional challenges of revisiting difficult memories while writing your memoir?
NWM: I would categorize in my own mind—the highs and lows of our marriage. For example, in the chapter where we were struggling with infertility, I pulled out the pictures, artwork, and essays that my grandchildren have accomplished. This takes me to the joys and blessings of the three children (who are all adults now) we finally were blessed to have. I am currently having ups and downs and other emotions because Lee is not here to see our two granddaughters graduate, one from college and the other one from high school. He would be so proud of them! They were 16 and 12 years old when he passed six years ago.
