Challenges Faced During A Love Relationship by Dr. Fairy Hayes-Scott

Introduction

And they lived happily ever after. . . And that is kind of true for truly real love relationships. There will be bumps in any relationship. That is what is called “life.” The test is how the individuals face and cope with those bumps. And that is what this section will illustrate.

Just as in the other part of my narrative, A Black Love Story: A Senior's Perspective, I shall transcribe from my diary; then, I shall share my perspectives as a senior who has looked back and garnered some wisdom that I wish to share with my readers.

Now, you may note that I have not entitled this section, Challenges Faced During a Black Love Relationship. Why not? NO matter one’s ethnicity or race, one or more of these challenges will be faced by any couple and you do not have to look out for them; if you live long enough, something will happen.

Some challenge will “rock your world.” Don’t look for it; it will happen, sometimes, when you least expect it. Then, you will see what you and your loved one are really made of—for the long haul or just for a short run.

OK, let me start. . .

Challenge One: Learning to Communicate One’s True Feelings to One Another

Diary Entry

Dear Regioque (Feb. 29, 1980) I talked with Bob last night about different things. It was interesting that he remarked that some women whom he had dated saw marriage as a fairy tale. I quickly noted what I thought he was implying. And I firmly let him know I’m under no illusions. However, I choose not to focus on the banal side of marriage. I was slightly annoyed but not as fumed as I used to be months ago. And what was good was we could express our feelings freely.

Also, I let him know how I felt about living in the same city as his ex-wife lived. I do not want to live in the same city as she, but I recognize that his new job would require that he lived in the city he worked. Well, at least I feel good to be able to get that out of my system. I feel if this relationship is to REALLY grow we must be able to say what we feel without fear of repercussions.

Earlier this week we discussed how we planned to spend this weekend. I wanted him to come over tonight; he wanted to wait until Saturday. I didn’t say anything that night. I needed to think about it, and I perceived he was pooped. But it did bother me.

At first I questioned if this were a repeat of past relationships. Then, I felt this just reaffirmed our not marrying regardless of his statements that he cared for me. Then, I wanted to talk to someone. But nope. I decided to discuss my concerns with him the following night.

That was good. I figured it’s best to let the person I’m involved with know my reservations.

2025

No matter how mature one may be in age or how many degrees one may have, these issues mean nothing when it comes to romance. Well, let me say in regards to myself. I had been hurt in the past. As much as I tried not to let the past influence my thoughts and feelings, it did, and that was not Bob’s fault; that was on me.

Yes, I was insecure. And I did not want to get hurt again. I did not want to be a fool. And as one song in the 70s by The Main Ingredient said: “Everybody plays the fool; there’s no exception to the rule.” I had been a fool in some past relationships. And if this were to happen to me in this one with Bob, oh well, I would have to deal with it and move on.

This was not Bob’s fault. And so, I had to recognize that Bob had not done anything to make me distrust him; these were my fears, my insecurities, and I had to cope with them. I needed to allow myself to be vulnerable and share these fears and insecurities with the man whom I was with and know that I would not die if Bob turned out to be a liar and cheat, which he did not—whew!

One thing is certain: I did not die in the past, and I would not die if my relationship with Bob had not gone well. Yes, I would have snot-nose cried, but not died. And that is what I want to remind every young woman out there. Yes, you may feel awful; you may feel like a fool, but you will LIVE!

Furthermore, if you really care for the guy, let him know how you feel. No man can read your mind; you have to communicate with him. This is the firm basis for a real love relationship. As the years continued, I would periodically re-read this Feb. 29 diary entry and remember to share my concerns, fears, and irritations with the man whom I was with, not with anyone else. And that level of open communication made our relationship/our marriage strong.

Diary Entry 

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Create a Compelling Opening and Closing for Your Storytelling

An interesting opening and closing are essential parts of any well-crafted story. They frame the reader’s experience, grabbing attention at the start and leaving a lasting impression at the end. 

Without a strong opening, readers may never get past the first paragraph. Why? Because the opening sets the tone for the rest of the story. If you cannot reel in readers quickly, they will check out just as fast. 

The opening is the hook. It introduces stakes and raises questions. A great first line invites the reader into the story and makes them want to stay. You can create a compelling opening in different ways. One of the most common is using something surprising or odd-sounding that is then explained and leads into the rest of the story.

Take the first line in George Orwell’s book, 1984, as an example: 

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. 

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PREFACE TO "A BLACK LOVE STORY: A SENIOR'S PERSPECTIVE by DR. FAIRY HAYES-SCOTT

There are several books written about love relationships by authors who have been divorced three and five times. You do not have to be married several times to be an expert on love relationships. And an author having been married one time is not necessarily an expert on love relationships. Nor can I, married for forty-four years, consider myself an expert. However, I do have something to share.

For well over fifty years, I have written in my diary. I began at age thirteen. Now, my diary is in volumes. I wanted my diary entries to be a way my children and grandchildren would know me when I leave this earth. 

My entries cover all facets of my life: professional, political, romantic, and more. My plan is to publish a book entitled, Are There Black Angels in Heaven? based on these entries and more—one side will provide the diary entry, and the other side will provide my perspective now as one who has more experience and perspective.

So, for MarketingNewAuthors.com’s blog, the MANA Sunriser, I provide entries that share and reflect on my experiences with romance. When I read my entries, I recognize how young I was and how much I wish I knew what I know now. I smile and let a tear fall, but boy, I am glad I have lived to share these entries with our readers.

So, I invite you to go HERE to read A Black Love Story: A Senior's Perspective. I invite you to leave your comments in the box below the story. Thank you!

A BLACK LOVE STORY: A SENIOR'S PERSPECTIVE by FAIRY C. HAYES-SCOTT

INTRODUCTION

Let me make this one thing clear. If you are looking for a work that graphically or non-graphically gives details about the sexual aspects of this or any relationship, stop reading, Why? My generation was taught that intimate details should only be between the two involved. In other words, that ain’t anyone’s business but just those parties involved.

Now, let us continue with the setup of this work. It is from my diary to my guardian angel. His name, although I am a female, I always, ever since I began writing this diary, saw my guardian angel as a male. Um, maybe the influence of society, whatever, maybe because I am a “boomer” and, in my early days, males dominated. So, his name is Regioque.

I began this diary at the age of thirteen. I have volumes from that age to now, 2025, definitely nowhere near the age of thirteen. I am a retired college professor and publisher.

This diary entry begins in 1977. I have chosen to transcribe it as it was actually written then. Thus, there is no editing, just my actual feelings at that time, sometimes raw and deliberate.

Next, this book is for my daughter, granddaughter, and really for all daughters and granddaughters. I figure this may help them understand me as a mom and grandmom, well after I croak. It may help other daughters and granddaughters understand their moms and grandmoms. Hopefully, it will help them as they navigate the road to romance, lack of, and, finally, the right one.

Oh, let me briefly describe myself—the self I was in 1977. I would not say I would stop an eight-day clock, but I was not bad-looking. Some told me I should have been a model. I opted to be a teacher working toward a Ph.D. in Education.

OK, that’s enough—let’s begin.

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"The use of AI in our industry is evolving rapidly and we will continue to experiment and innovate," Charlie Redmayne, CEO of HarperCollins, said in an interview with The Bookseller. "Our aim is always to reach the widest possible audience for our authors’ work and to ensure appropriate remuneration for it. New channels and new tech with effective protections and an open mind help us achieve this, as we have seen with Spotify, which is bringing new listeners to audiobooks and delivering revenue for our authors and the business.”

2. Indie Authors Continue to Prefer the Romance, Fantasy, and Sci-fi Genres

According to a 2024 Indie Author Survey by Written Word Media, romance, fantasy, science fiction, and thriller are the top genres among indie authors. The survey found that 22.7 percent of authors said romance was their primary genre, followed by fantasy (12.8 percent), science fiction (7.5 percent), and thriller (7.2 percent).

This should not discourage authors who do not write in these top three genres. Find your unique audience and serve them well; many authors succeed by targeting specific underserved groups of readers. 

MANA Honors Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.